I see girls putting down guys of certain races lol and I'm here to tell you...it's all of them.
Some guys I've dated stalk my Social Media, including my website. I have dated every type of guy. From a lazy-NYC-mama's boy (Italian), to a selfish-fake liberal-alcoholic (Irish), to a misogynistic foreigner (Arab/African). It does not matter what race, some men just don't respect women. They were all liars, who never compromised and never respected my boundaries
I think what was also so frustrating about these occurrences, was that, these weren't handsome men with money. These were men I let in my life because I believed they had a good heart. So at the end of all the shit, I had nothing to show for it. Also: even with the money they had, they were selfish with it.
My first love. The person who taught me how to love. Who spoiled me like a princess. The person who drove 1300 miles to rescue me from my childhood home. The person who changed my life, for the better. I had to leave him, because I was so mentally messed up from my upbringing, that I could not love him the way he needed.
In the years to follow, I came to find that a lot of men are awful creatures. I went into life so lovingly because I was in a loving relationship for years. But a lot of men will disrespect and use a vulnerable, naive, kind hearted woman. The rotten men I tried to date, are no different from the man who sexually abused me in my childhood. All were unkind, emotionally abusive, violators and users.
My inspiration for this post was that a couple guys I was once interested in have been contacting me.
Q. Am I single/engaged/married?
A. What the fuck difference does it make. You were not ready to be a man when I needed it. Go watch some porn or Netflix.
Q. I'm so sorry about what happened in your family. Is there anything I can do?
A. I shared my childhood issues with anyone I dated, so they would understand my boundaries. You were aware. No one cared. So don't care now.
Q. Can I have another chance?
A. To waste my time? Go die please. But before you die, let your absent father's know that they raised a bunch of pussies.
Ladies, I think (most of us females), are wired to be more loving and nurturing. We give more chances to people than they deserve. I think women are so focused on pleasing men, they don't realize these boys are insecure assholes who don't even like themselves very much. These boys never saw their Mom be treated well. They don't know how to love and don't care to learn. These boys will never grow up to be classy, respectable, loving, decent men. I guarantee you, once you start identifying your own issues---> The why's of why you allowed such nonsense in your life and your heart, it will be so easy to let them go and open up the doors for the type of man you truly deserve.
When I realized I was asking for men to basically be, human beings, I started to wake up. There is no way you should be texting with someone you have to ask for respect.
Out of all the (bad) guys I named, I had a longterm situationship with one of them. We never even spent holidays together. That's right. No holidays. No gifts. No roses. No family weddings. No birth of family's children. etc. When he asked me to meet his parents, I didn't even want to. I declined each time they visited. What the hell would I be introduced as? How could I look at his Mom and not ask, "How did he end up this way?" Why would I want to meet your family, when we both know they're going to absolutely love me? Then I'd end up getting close with the Mom (because she sounded like a nice lady), though I was no longer close with her son. He always seemed to be so happy to say, "My Mom would love you!". With a huge grin on his face. All I could think was, so he knows how amazing I am...he just doesn't give a shit enough to change to save our relationship.
I also wonder if he saw other women at some point.
I was so busy trying to prove my worth, and I am fucking amazing btw, to a boy who had shown me that he was worthless, time and time again. The relationship turned into a sporadic friendship of dinners and texting. It was nothing special. And I am such a special person. But I did not want a failed relationship.
I'm going to get off the subject for a minute. All you people who are dating/married to someone and you are only holding on so you don't have to tell me you have separated...STOP THAT! It is okay to move on.
Women talk and I've heard some stufffffff whew chile!! To all my sisters out there suffering from various things:
I know it is hard to accept that someone you care about, doesn't care about you, the way you deserve. Or that you are not as attracted your partner as you once were. Especially you married chicks with children. Your child will be able to sense how miserable you are. Or whatever the case may be.
Stop trying to repaint someone after they show you their true colors. Everybody doesn't have the same heart as you.
It was really hard to let that situation go, because I had experienced good times with him. But when the bad outweigh the good. When you're spending less and less time together, because it's no longer romantic and fun to be around him. When you don't see a future between you two. It's a problem.
If you are interested in a man who seems sweet, and that sweetness starts to change, run. Don't hold on to nice memories of them. Accept that they don't respect you, nor, your boundaries. You are blocking your blessings of being with the right man, by holding onto people who don't care where your next meal is coming from. Don't care about your mental health. Don't care about your career.
There is a real man <3 out there that is willing to give you everything you want and need...without you having to ask. You just have to be ready to accept it :)